Past Sins
A friend from high school recently reconnected with lady from our past. I have heard the stories and seen the films but never met anyone that this had happened to. He said he dreamed about her those many years ago. I am sure he wasn’t the only one because she was and is lovely. Their getting together after all these years caused some memories to rise up out my self-conscious.
There was the occassion that her boyfriend ,then, decided for some strange reason I was a threat so he provoked a fight with me, which I lost. There was the time I wrote a few poems for her. My poetry at the time was probably doggerel for my writing, like my living skills, were not yet developed. Even at that age, I was no stranger to fights. Being a military brat and constantly moving I learned early to stand up for myself. I learned many things but girls, ladies, …women were and to a large extent still are…a mystery.
The male friend and I were not close in high school although the two ladies we dated were. He married his high school sweetheart, but as a result of their not being able to keep secrets and those secrets getting back to my girl friends parents, my high school sweetheart and I were forced to part company. Her hypocritical father slapped me during this altercation. I stood there and took it…for the last time. I have only been slapped once since and that person had to have their arm reset in the hospital.
Time and circumstances precluded me and her from ever getting together. Multiple marriages for both of us but we were never single at the same time, or I was half a world away, there was never a good time. I discovered later that attempts at communication had been made and thwarted by other parties.
. I have struggled to be someone who would make her proud. Like so many Government minions before me, my actions now regulated to some hidden files securely locked away from the public eyes. I have seen her at various times but have never approached her ,for she seems to have found happiness and that is what I have always wished for her. As for me, I have the memories, the reminders and the loneliness. I guess happiness is for others.
